DEAR DEIDRE: WE have banned kids from our wedding but it has caused a rift in my family. Now I wish we could forget the whole thing and elope to Gretna Green.
My fiancé and I are both 31. We’re getting married in July.
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Although we love children, we’re having an intimate ceremony with just 40 guests, and decided to make it child-free.
Most people understand – and even appreciate our decision.
But my first cousin has kicked up a fuss because her daughter, who is six, has not been invited.
She’s a single mum and says she can’t get a babysitter for the whole day and night.
She also assumed the child would be my bridesmaid, as is family tradition. But it’s not that kind of wedding.
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Now she’s not speaking to me – and her dad, my mum’s brother, is angry with me.
Mum has asked if I can change my mind, to keep the peace. I am now feeling so stressed about the whole thing.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Don’t give in. This is your big day, and you’re not being unfair or selfish.
Your cousin is disappointed. She may even have prematurely told her daughter she’d be your bridesmaid.
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But that’s not your fault. And her childcare issues aren’t your responsibility – she has plenty of time to organise something.
See if you can talk to her again and try to make peace. My support pack, Wedding Worries? should help you to deal with this.