Мобильный 1 Add news
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010June 2010July 2010
August 2010
September 2010October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011March 2011April 2011May 2011June 2011July 2011August 2011September 2011October 2011November 2011December 2011January 2012February 2012March 2012April 2012May 2012June 2012July 2012August 2012September 2012October 2012November 2012December 2012January 2013February 2013March 2013April 2013May 2013June 2013July 2013August 2013September 2013October 2013November 2013December 2013January 2014February 2014March 2014April 2014May 2014June 2014July 2014August 2014September 2014October 2014November 2014December 2014January 2015February 2015March 2015April 2015May 2015June 2015July 2015August 2015September 2015October 2015November 2015December 2015January 2016February 2016March 2016April 2016May 2016June 2016July 2016August 2016September 2016October 2016November 2016December 2016January 2017February 2017March 2017April 2017May 2017June 2017July 2017August 2017September 2017October 2017November 2017December 2017January 2018February 2018March 2018April 2018May 2018June 2018July 2018August 2018September 2018October 2018November 2018December 2018January 2019February 2019March 2019April 2019May 2019June 2019July 2019August 2019September 2019October 2019November 2019December 2019January 2020February 2020March 2020April 2020May 2020June 2020July 2020August 2020September 2020October 2020November 2020December 2020January 2021February 2021March 2021April 2021May 2021June 2021July 2021August 2021September 2021October 2021November 2021December 2021January 2022
News Every Day |

Mayo is more than a condiment, it’s love

Duke’s Mayo Bowl - North Carolina v South Carolina
Photo by Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images

Even if you hate it, appreciate it.

Note: This is not a piece of sponsored content, though it reads like one. I have not accepted compensation or gifts from big mayo. I’m just a husky dude who really likes mayonnaise.

When did it become so cool to hate on mayo? It’s almost like overnight half of the internet put it in their crosshairs and started hating on it like pineapple on pizza (which is also great, fight me). The Duke’s Mayo Bowl has me thinking a lot about mayonnaise today, as opposed to every other day where only a moderate amount of my daily thinking is devoted to mayo.

I’m not going to convince anyone who hates mayonnaise that it’s good. I’ve accepted that’s just not going to happen. However, I’d like to explain to you why I believe my beloved, off-white, fat-based food lube is the peak of human culinary achievement.

On the surface mayo functionally makes no sense. It’s the early gastronomic equivalent to putting potato chips in a Reece’s Cup, which, hey, that exists. However, instead of cramming random decadent crap together as part of a post-millennial marketing scheme, some beautiful 18th century French bastards were tinkering around with egg yolks and oil, and through the power of alchemy made a sauce of pure fat so wonderful it changed the world.

Early mayo was such a bizarre achievement that pharmacists thought it was a medicine, not a food. Mayo’s thick, gooey, naturally lubricating consistency became the base of many ointments. I mean hell, we even have the damn MAYO CLINIC in Minnesota celebrating the impact of mayonnaise on medicine. That’s an outright lie, but you believed me for a second didn’t you, because I’m making you have faith in mayonnaise’s power.

The truth is, I don’t really need to explain the significance of mayo historically. I don’t need to extol its virtues as the basis of tartar sauce, remoulade, ranch, or hibachi white sauce. I want to, because mayo is great, but I don’t need to.

Instead, let me explain what mayo meant to me as a kid. It meant one thing: Love.

I grew up not having a lot of money. My mom was a wizard who could stretch a penny so far I never even noticed we were poor until I became a teenager. She was absolutely determined not to make money something I worried about as a kid, and the easiest way for her to save it was packing my lunch. My lunch box was more or less the same every day. A refillable bottle of ice water which doubled as a cooling mechanism, a piece of fruit (whatever was on sale at the time) and a humble, often-limp sandwich containing three ingredients: Ham, cheese, mayonnaise.

It wasn’t like a lot of the other kids. There were no siloed off Ziplock bags of lettuce and tomato, lovingly packed together so the sandwich could be assembled fresh on the playground. Hell, I didn’t even get a Ziplock bag. They were too expensive. Most of the time my sandwich was double-wrapped in paper towel and secured with a piece of tape.

This method meant that by the time it was lunch the bread (which was often close to being stale in the first place) would be dry, the cheese would start to get hard and the meal would otherwise be inedible — except for one savior: mayonnaise. It brought it all together. It allowed the sandwich to be possible. It lubricated these sad, budget ingredients enough that I was allowed to get my mid-day sustenance, and while I was always bummed I didn’t get a bag of chips with my lunch, or perish the thought, a cookie, for the better part of a decade mayonnaise was my lunchtime friend. My hero.

I think this is why I get defensive when people say “mayonnaise is gross” or “how could anyone eat that crap?” in order to earn internet cool points. I know I shouldn’t get defensive over something this dumb, but it’s almost like insulting my childhood, or more aptly, insulting my mom, who sacrificed EVERY basic adult comfort like coffee in order to make sure she could deliver three square meals every day.

Mayo is the world’s most versatile sauce for a reason. It exists to bail out meals that would otherwise be terrible, and elevate ones which are already good. It can be churched up with spices and called an aioli, infused with exotic ingredients to make the menu of a boujee $17 sandwich shop ... it can also be cheap, hastily spread on a sandwich and put in a box before work in order to try and make lunch for a kid just a little bit better, knowing everything else in life was so difficult.

Enjoy the Duke’s Mayo Bowl today, and even if you don’t like mayonnaise, appreciate what it means to others. In the end, all mayo is good mayo ... except for Miracle Whip, which is a devilish hell substance that’s probably haunted.

Read also

Miss Manners: I was upset by her news, and my reaction ended the friendship

„Bist du dann Mama oder Papa?“ – Mein Leben als nicht-leibliche Mutter

How Russia Went Wrong

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on Today24.pro

News Every Day

UFC Vegas 46: Kattar vs. Chikadze live results, discussion, play by play

Today24.pro — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here

News Every Day

Mike Tyson brands Muhammad Ali ‘the greatest man ever’ in touching message on what would have been icon’s 80th birthday

Sports today

Новости тенниса
Australian Open

Российский представитель в ООН назвал позорным решение Австралии по Джоковичу

Спорт в России и мире

Украинский журналист Цимбалюк рассказал о подаренной Скабеевой футболке с Путиным


All sports news today


Sports in Russia today

Украинский журналист Цимбалюк рассказал о подаренной Скабеевой футболке с Путиным

Новости России

Game News

Here's why Ninja and Jessica Blevins are threatening to sue Pokimane


Game News

Блогеры в Мафии-НН

Губернаторы России

Управление Департамента ГОЧСиПБ по Северо- Западному административному округу Москвы напоминает о правилах пожарной безопасности!

Зимняя палатка куб – отличное убежище от мороза

Политолог Бредихин объяснил, как отреагирует Япония на предложение России по Курилам

Бывшего топ-менеджера Внешэкономбанка объявили в международный розыск

Медитация как путь к здоровью

Друг Градского: вдова наказала себя на 50 "лимонов"

Певица Монеточка продаст новую квартиру после публикации Mash с ее адресом

В «Аэрофлоте» назвали поведение Волочковой в самолете «деструктивным»

Волочкова заявила, что конфликт в самолете спровоцировал стюард

Карацев сыграет в паре с оренбуржцем Артёмом Ситаком на Australian Open

Медведев одержал победу на старте Открытого чемпионата Австралии

Мельбурн. Джон Иснер проиграл в стартовом матче

Джоковича депортировали из Австралии, Карацев завоевал титул, Радукану провалилась. Главные события минувшей недели

Выставка крымского художника «Земля Богаевского: Киммерии печальная область»

Теннисист Аслан Карацев из Северной Осетии победил на турнире ATP в Сиднее

Путин продлил срок службы спецпредставителю по экологии Иванову - 17.01.2022

Воплощай мечты с Matchbox

Николаев признался, что ему стыдно слушать свои песни в исполнении Аллегровой

Генеральская охота в России. На лосей и людей

В Киеве Бербок встречают требованиями покаяться перед Украиной и выплатить репарации

В Сочи из-за смерти пассажира вынужденно приземлился самолёт

Путин в России и мире

Персональные новости


Джиган и Самойлова с детьми стали свидетелями нападения крокодила на человека

News Every Day

UFC Vegas 46: Kattar vs. Chikadze live results, discussion, play by play

Friends of Today24

Музыкальные новости
"Воскресенье " Олег Митяев

Персональные новости
Близкий друг Путина миллиардер Пугачев. Вся правда о Путине, его семье и деньгах. В гостях у Гордона (2021)

Навальный об уволенном за пост священнике (2021)

Slava Marlow – суперуспех и депрессия в 21 год / вДудь (2021)

Обнаглевшие дети путинской элиты (2021)

Дайте собакам мяса (новый звук) -Владимир Высоцкий

Группа "Рождество" - песня "Так хочется жить!" (Видео с концерта в Киеве группы "РОЖДЕСТВО" в 2011 году в Доме офицеров)

Adriano Celentano Любимая песня Челентано (высочайшая энергетика) talentTV