I’m a mum and sister-in-law refuses to come to Christmas as she’s trying for baby & doesn’t want to be around my family
A MUM-OF-TWO shared her frustration that her sister-in-law didn’t to come to Christmas as she didn’t want “good fortune rubbed in her face”.
The upset woman explained that it was incredibly difficult for her to conceive her second child as she had an ectopic pregnancy and miscarried so she thought that claiming she had “good fortune” was insensitive.
She also said that the sister-in-law had asked her mother and father-in-law also not to attend so they could spend the day together.
Writing on Mumsnet, she said: “My husband and sister-in-law (his sister) have a strained relationship and have since childhood.
“I have always got on very well with her but she has a competitive edge which is draining after a while.
“She always said we would have weddings/children around the same time but it just didn’t work out that way.
“We have two children, four and one years old and they have been trying for their first since June after their wedding in May.”
The woman explained that in light of these circumstances her sister-in-law wants to change their festive plans.
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She said: “It was agreed ages ago that we would host sister-in-law and husband, mother and father-in-law and my parents and siblings. The in-law’s house is only a mile from us and my family will stay over.
“My sister-in-law has messaged tonight and said she can’t see us over xmas, it’s too hard whilst they’re [trying to conceive] and she can’t have our ‘good fortune rubbed in her face’.
“She’s also said she would prefer her parents also decline so they can spend it together.”
The woman was understanding of the upset, but disappointed with the decision.
She said she can’t see us over xmas, it’s too hard whilst they’re [trying to conceive] and she can’t have our ‘good fortune rubbed in her face’.
She said: “I haven’t responded yet, I completely resonate with not wanting to spend xmas with babies when that is what you are yearning for.
“But in between my two children, I suffered an ectopic where I lost a tube, two early losses and a 16wk loss.
“She knows this, she watched me go through the entire f***ing thing.
“The comment on good fortune has gone around and around my tiny head all evening and I’m p***ed off about it, I feel as though she’s worded it like that deliberately to hit a chord.
“I know I do have very good fortune to have two healthy children and I’m so grateful but f***, the youngest was hard won and I feel as though she’s poked the best a bit.”
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Fellow Mumsnet users were quick to jump in with their thoughts.
One said: “As someone who struggled please don’t take it personally. She is probably so far inside her own head over being upset and stressed that your struggle probably hasn’t even registered.”
Another said: “I totally get the difficultly she is facing but I cannot understand her not letting others visit you either.
“But I think that I would wait until tomorrow and get your husband to ring and say that you understand. But stay out of it.”
While a third said: “I suspect from her point of view, she’d take your pain in return for two healthy kids. Infertility is tough, please try to be gentle.”
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