Мобильный 1 Add news
March 2010
April 2010
May 2010June 2010July 2010
August 2010
September 2010October 2010
November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011March 2011April 2011May 2011June 2011July 2011August 2011September 2011October 2011November 2011December 2011January 2012February 2012March 2012April 2012May 2012June 2012July 2012August 2012September 2012October 2012November 2012December 2012January 2013February 2013March 2013April 2013May 2013June 2013July 2013August 2013September 2013October 2013November 2013December 2013January 2014February 2014March 2014April 2014May 2014June 2014July 2014August 2014September 2014October 2014November 2014December 2014January 2015February 2015March 2015April 2015May 2015June 2015July 2015August 2015September 2015October 2015November 2015December 2015January 2016February 2016March 2016April 2016May 2016June 2016July 2016August 2016September 2016October 2016November 2016December 2016January 2017February 2017March 2017April 2017May 2017June 2017July 2017August 2017September 2017October 2017November 2017December 2017January 2018February 2018March 2018April 2018May 2018June 2018July 2018August 2018September 2018October 2018November 2018December 2018January 2019February 2019March 2019April 2019May 2019June 2019July 2019August 2019September 2019October 2019November 2019December 2019January 2020February 2020March 2020April 2020May 2020June 2020July 2020August 2020September 2020October 2020November 2020December 2020January 2021February 2021March 2021April 2021May 2021June 2021July 2021August 2021September 2021October 2021
12345678910111213141516171819
20
21
22
23
24
25
26
27
28
29
30
31
News Every Day |

Ask Amy: She won’t let me call her my girlfriend, and I’m offended

Ask Amy: She won’t let me call her my girlfriend, and I’m offended


Dear Amy: My girlfriend (age 54) thinks it childish to introduce me as her boyfriend, and she doesn’t think I should introduce her as my girlfriend.

Amy Dickinson

I’ve met all her family and most of her friends, and she has met mine.

We take many trips together and stay at each other’s houses weekly. We are intertwined quite nicely and communicate beautifully.

I totally disagree with her regarding this manner of address.

It’s certainly not a deal breaker, even though it offends me.

I’d respect and would like your opinion on this matter.

Disappointed on the Cape

Dear Disappointed: Your question is a little unclear about what the actual issue is. If your SO (significant other) doesn’t want to be referred to as your “girlfriend” because she doesn’t want for people to see that you are in a committed, exclusive relationship, then that’s a serious relationship question that you two should discuss.

However, I can completely understand why a 54-year-old woman would not want to be referred to as a “girlfriend.” Far from being flirty and youthful, the term “girl” actually makes some grown women feel ancient (I assume being referred to as a “boy” might strike some men the same way).

I used to take issue with the term “partner” to describe a committed love relationship, but I’ve come around. Would this work for you two?

Dear Amy: Over a decade ago, I escaped an extremely emotionally and sometimes physically abusive partner and proceeded to raise kind, compassionate and successful children on my own.

Now in adulthood, all but one has established a relationship with this pretty much absent parent, who now wants to stage a get-together that includes my new spouse and myself.

I use the word “stage,” as my ex has continued to demonstrate manipulative behavior that has hurt me and my children.

They have succeeded in creating quite a wedge between me and my middle child. They love to create scenarios where they are in control, and they know me well enough to push my buttons.

While I have the strength not to show anything but a pleasant reaction, it hurts to be near them.

I do not want to go to this get-together but feel pressured. My children see it as a step forward for all of us to heal and be a big and happy family.

I have done my best not to disparage my ex. If I don’t go, the ex will use my refusal to make me look bad. If I do go, I will endure my past trauma being stirred up again, while my ex gets to look good. What should I do?

Been There, Not Doing That

Dear Been There: One benefit of a breakup is being spared “get togethers” with the ex.

Many exes can manage happy, peaceful and inclusive family events, but for others (such as yourself), breakup is a liberation from having to be in your ex’s presence.

You should encourage your children to maintain whatever relationship they want to have with their other parent, but you should also explain to them that being someone’s child is vastly different from being someone’s ex. Your kids might find an understandable equivalent if you asked them if they would enjoy bringing their most painful breakup partner to a fun dinner with you and your spouse, all in the name of celebrating a happy reconciliation.

Your children need to understand that the way things are now (both of their parents in your separate spheres) is as close as you are ever going to get to being that “big happy family,” and that as far as you are concerned, that’s a pretty good result.

Always maintain a careful equanimity concerning your ex, but don’t cave. Manipulators love getting a rise out of people (it’s ammo!).

So steady on, no wobbles.

Dear Amy: I can completely relate to “Not Savvy.”

I too once had regular interaction with a person I did not like, but I couldn’t determine why I felt that way.

One day he said, “You don’t like me, do you?”

I paused and plunged in with, “Yes, you are right, and I am sorry. I can’t figure out why I feel this way. It makes no sense, you are great, yet I can’t get past my feelings.”

It turned out to be beneficial for both of us, as we now “knew” each other and didn’t have to pretend. In fact, this mutual honesty made us more comfortable.

 Tam

Dear Tam: You showed a very “savvy” side.

You can email Amy Dickinson at askamy@amydickinson.com or send a letter to Ask Amy, P.O. Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy or Facebook.

Read also

J.P. Morgan investing review: Trade on your own or invest with an automated portfolio

‘Feminist’ bookstore BLASTED for ‘sexist’ decision to remove books by bestselling ‘female’ author who turned out to be three men

Russia suspends its mission at NATO, shuts alliance's office

Слот 7

News, articles, comments, with a minute-by-minute update, now on Today24.pro

News Every Day

1 MINUTE Microwave MUG SNACKS! 3 NEW FLAVORS!

Today24.pro — latest news 24/7. You can add your news instantly now — here


Авто

Профилем не вышел: алгоритмы ИИ выявляют признаки страхового мошенничества




Новости России
Game News

Пара игроков New World добавила в MMO мини-карту


Russian.city


Дмитрий Песков

Песков заявил об отсутствии перспектив для встречи Путина и Зеленского


Губернаторы России
Актриса

Актриса Светлана Большакова: Мечтаю снимать кино про сильных женщин


Айсен Николаев: Нужно уделить внимание строительству портов на тихоокеанском побережье

Посадить Порошенко. Зеленский готовится к перевыборам

Свыше 152 тысяч пройденных километров и более пяти тысяч тест-драйвов - компания «МАН Трак энд Бас Рус» подвела итоги всероссийского Road Show

Собственникам может грозить штраф за незаконную перепланировку квартир


Лидер «Браво» Хавтан признал незаменимость Агузаровой

Вячеслав Бутусов рассказал в эфире «Вечернего Урганта» о самом смешном дне рождения

18.10.21==Мелодия всё приводит к общему знаменателю»

Роскошный праздник популярной певицы Полины Изаак Что происходило на мероприятии PIBP в Москве?


В ФТР призвали уважать решение Медведева о снятии с Кубка Кремля

Дарья Касаткина: Один день из моего приезда в Москву

Калинская обыграла Ястрембскую на трунире в Москве

Теннисист Медведев прокомментировал снятие с турнира ATP в Москве




Хирург Плахотин указал на обман бывшей жены Аршавина Казьминой по поводу ее состояния

ЦСКА взял верх над «Црвеной Звездой» в баскетбольной Евролиге

Лукашенко допустил попытку революции перед проведением конституционного референдума

Иммунолог Крючков предупредил об изменении клинической картины заболевания COVID-19


Владимир Симинский снял видеофильм о поездке в парк «Патриот»

СМИ рассказали о семье убитой в Вологде девочки - 19.10.2021

МИД ФРГ сожалеет о решении РФ приостановить работу постпредства при НАТО

Сенатор оценил перспективы отношений с НАТО



Путин в России и мире







Персональные новости
Moscow.media