As Southern accent takes over t’North, can you understand these key phrases?
THA what? News that Northern accents could be drowned out by Southern tones within 45 years is frightening.
Or, as we’d say in North East Derbyshire, it’s reyt bad.
Experts reckon we’ll all end up sounding like Gemma Collins by 2066[/caption] Northern accents, like Vicky Pattison’s, could be eradicated as everyone moves around so much[/caption]Academics — from two southern universities, I note — reckon Scouse, Lancastrian, Yorkshire and Geordie pronunciations will be dead by 2066, because everyone will be moving around so much.
We’ll all sound like Gemma Collins as we sing “one hundred years of hurt” at the Afghanistan World Cup, according to them. Dyouknowhatahmean? What a depressing thought.
Regional accents are what put the Great in Great Britain.
I grew up within a stone’s swat (rhymes with mat) from Yorkshire and in my home town of Chesterfield the poetry of our patois is a constant joy.
Even as a youth — we were never “kids” — I’d take great pleasure in my liberal use of flat vowels.
My mum, a Londoner by way of Suffolk, likes to embarrass me with a tape recording of me aged about seven attempting Wind In The Willows’ Duck’s Ditty.
It is of course custom to drop any “thes” to nail the local lilt.
So there I am: “All along backwater through rushes tall . . . ducks were a-dabblin’ oop tale all.”
That “oop” is huge. It has a charming intensity that I can hear myself relishing as I delivered it.
Like all of us from oop North would — and to those who say Chesterfield isn’t truly North, pipe tha sen dahn.
We see it as a badge of honour to sound different from the “received pronunciation”-infused drab delivery of the South East.
The only thing we have in common with Southerners is we don’t say hello to anyone either.
Oh no. We say: “Ey up duck. Tha reyt?”
And the only correct response — unless tha were feeling badly — would be: “Ey up thee, ah’m a reyt, how at thee sen?”
Gerrit? Of course you do.
Because there’s the other great myth: That Northern accents like Vicky Pattison’s are often impenetrable. Oh, give over!
Our accents aren’t just perfectly understandable, they’re also the most trustworthy, with a Yorkshire intonation usually top of the league.
Why do you think Peter Kay is so bloody funny? Why is Jordan, ahem, North doing so well for himself on the radio? And why does that bloke flogging Plusnet broadband sound so reasonable?
I sense a theme here.
So, are Northern accents really in peril? ’Eck as like!
Here are a few key Northern phrases we would be sorry to lose . . . with helpful translations for all you cloth-eared Southern types.
Why do you think stars like Peter Kay and Jordan North are doing so well?[/caption]By ‘eck, it’s bin reyt good
GO ’ed lad! Get the ales in. (Liverpool)
Go ahead good sir, do purchase the chaps some fine pints of beer!
’ERE, what’s f’r us tea or we off t’shop? (Yorks)
Hello there, what are we having for our dinner, or will you visit a shop nearby?
EE, tha’s a reyt gradly brew tha’! (Yorks)
That is the most wonderful cup of tea to ever pass my lips!
AH-REET cock? Fancy a barm? (Lancs)
Alright my good man? Do you fancy one of our wonderful bread rolls?
I WERE a gate and he were a gate that we should go through the ginnel. (Lancs)
Both the fine fellow and I concluded we should walk down the alleyway.
SEEN that gadgie ahead of that geet walla line? (Newcastle)
Have you seen that adult male standing at the front of that very long queue?
HADDAWAY, mate, there’s nee way he’s signing for the Toon. (Newcastle)
There is no chance that man will be signed for Newcastle United FC.
OUR kid’s proper sound, he’s dead mint. (Manchester)
My sibling is the finest gentleman in the town, he is extremely splendid.
ALRIGHT cock? I’m not chuffed, it’s spitting outside. (Manchester)
Hello my close friend, I am far from happy after noticing the light rain falling.
’EY up love! I reyt love a bit of chuddy me. (Sheffield)
Good afternoon sir, may I pester you for a piece of chewing gum? I do so enjoy it.
YOU want some spice gerring from shop or nowt? (Sheffield)
Would you like me to select some sweets for you or would you rather go without?
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BE REYT! Whut yer djarn? (Cumbria)
It will be totally wonderful dear sir. What is it you are up to?
WHISHT bairn, whisht! (Cumbria)
One does wish that baby would be quiet.