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I want a sex life with my wife but after 30 years celibate I don’t know where to start

DEAR DEIDRE: I THINK my wife and I deserve a sex life but after 30 years together and having been more or less celibate, I don’t know where to start.

I’m 54 and my wife is 56. We met through church and we’d both had very strict Christian upbringings.

I want a sex life with my wife but after 30 years celibate I don’t know where to start

We are one another’s soulmates. We tried to have sex on our wedding night but we didn’t really know what we were doing and it came to nothing.

Since then we have tried a couple of times but she has said it hurts her so I stopped.

We kiss and we cuddle and we love one another so much. Neither of us have ever cheated, nor would we want to.

My wife read a sexy book lately and she said she felt turned-on. She said she wanted to try to have sex again. I’m keen too.

I saw you had a support pack called Reviving Your Sex Drive but would this be right for us as we’ve never had a sex life?

Get in touch with Deidre today

My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.

Send an email to

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.

DEIDRE SAYS: It’s important that you both feel fully aroused when you start to have sex – even more so for your wife.

It may feel uncomfortable initially but it will get easier as you get into your stride. Using some lubricant will help.

My support pack called First Time Fears explains what to do and how your body changes when you want to have sex.

It’s natural and healthy to enjoy a loving sex life. Good luck.

NEXT IN TODAY’S DEAR DEIDRE My girlfriend’s family wants us to split us up because of the age gap

READ DEIDRE’S CLASSIC PHOTO CASEBOOK Sophie and Max’s mum has had too much to drink so Oscar is forced to go round

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