DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been meeting two guys for sex, but now I’ve found out that they are friends – and I’m mortified.
After a bad break-up with my ex, I was determined to have a bit of fun before settling down. I’m a woman of 26 and started dating again last summer.
I wasn’t in a committed relationship and enjoyed seeing ten different guys.
For a lot of the time I only went on walks with them and talked but I did sleep with six of them.
One of them was a lovely guy of 28. He is good-looking, has a good job and comes from a really nice family, but the sex was so-so.
There wasn’t any chemistry but I kept dating — and sleeping with him in the hope the sex would improve, but it’s dull, dull, dull.
He mentioned he played five-a-side football for one of our local teams and said they were a close bunch.
Recently I’ve been on four dates with a new guy.
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He’s 30 and single and we’ve slept together twice and the last time I spent most of the weekend with him.
I really think he may be the one for me. I can’t wait until we can start going out properly together.
But I nearly choked on my coffee one morning when he said he played five-a-side — for the same team as the previous guy I’d slept with. He even mentioned his name and said they were great mates.
The previous guy has been messaging me asking when I’m free for another date but I don’t want to go and I’m worried about telling my new lover I’ve slept with his friend.
What if they talk to one another about me and compare notes?
I know I haven’t done anything wrong but should I tell him I know his mate now or wait and see if things get serious and then let him know I’ve dated his friend?
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DEIDRE SAYS: It’s better to be honest. We all have a past, so find a moment to explain you’ve realised that by coincidence, you dated his mate a couple of times but it hasn’t led to anything. Insist that you don’t want it to spoil what you have together.
Often being honest about something can feel less of a burden than saying nothing.I can’t wait until we can start going out properly together[/caption]
My support pack called Standing Up For Yourself will help you to get the message across.
It will also help you to end things with the first guy.
And please be careful – you’ve risked spreading Covid-19 by getting close to different people when you should be abiding by the rules set down by the Government.