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Making A Late Mitch

A name as old as, well, I'm not exactly sure how old the name "Mitch" is, but it certainly colors a perfect picture of a 40-year-old something software "cubicle" engineer. And why someone would want to engineer cubicles, that's not really the issue at hand, it's just like, what, a bunch of three walls put together? But one Mitch Haniger has officially piqued my interest, and y'all know what that means! I am about to hem and haw, waxing poetic during a roller coaster of emotion and analysis (more crying than math, as I always say) on the pros and cons of this right fielder for the Seattle Mariners. And yes, while the season has begun (sorta-kinda-lolCovid-sadface), and perhaps it's a little late to pontificate on such matters, but I would make the argument it's never too late to talk about these types of players. And do I mean about "these types"? Well, the fringe-types. But we'll delve more into cubicles, math (oh god), and whatever random thing pops into my head. Abstract art, if you will...

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