I am having sex with a guy 20 years younger but friends and family won’t accept it
DEAR DEIDRE: LAST year, I met a much younger guy on a dating site and, after talking for months, we met up, had an instant connection and started dating.
The sex is great, we have lots in common and are very much in love, but our friends and family won’t accept us as a couple.
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I’m 44 and he’s 24, and they call me a cougar and other things I can’t repeat.
When we’re out in public, he sometimes acts like he’s ashamed of me, and won’t hold my hand.
I worry he thinks other people assume I’m his mother, even though I’ve been told I look good for my age.
This is the best relationship I’ve had since my marriage ended five years ago, but now I wonder if I’m deluding myself.
Is there any future in it? He says girls his own age are shallow and immature, but I worry he’ll want kids one day.
Can I make other people accept us? Or am I just having some sort of mid-life crisis – which is what one of my friends thinks?
DEIDRE SAYS: There’s nothing wrong with age gaps, but you and your boyfriend are at very different life stages.
He’s just starting out, while you have a lot more experience.
You’re right – he might want children in the future, and it’s less likely you’ll be able to give them to him.
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On the other hand, not every relationship is meant to last a lifetime, and if yours isn’t, then there’s nothing wrong with enjoying it until it runs its course.
But the longer you stay together, the more you risk getting hurt if and when it ends.
My support packs, Age Gaps and With A Younger Man, might help you to decide whether you are right for each other.
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