Meghan Markle sparks debate after revealing miscarriage: ‘I thought she wanted privacy’

Meghan Markle, the former TV actress-turned Duchess of Sussex, continues to prove herself to be one of the most fascinating but polarizing figures or our current celebrity era.

Just consider the widely divergent reactions Meghan has received for publishing an op-ed in the New York Times Wednesday, in which she dramatically described suffering a miscarriage in July. While some applauded her strength and courage, others accused her of using a tragedy for her own gains.

In the op-ed, the U.S.-born wife of Prince Harry revealed the searing physical and emotional pain of her pregnancy loss — how she held her firstborn son, Archie, while realizing “I was losing my second;” and the way she later lay in a hospital bed and kissed her husband’s knuckles, “wet with both our tears.”

Meghan’s writing is moving and personally revealing; it’s certainly not something people have tended to expect from a member of the British royal family, who are famous for their “never complain” ethos.

For many, the op-ed deserves widespread praise for the way it spotlights the “unbearable grief” of miscarriage, which affects up to 20 out of 100 women. In this way, Meghan’s revelation is part of a recent trend in which famous women, including Chrissy Teigen, open up about suffering pregnancy loss. Some on Twitter or in the New York Times comments section said Meghan’s words brought them to tears, and others felt moved to open up about their own miscarriages.

Meghan broadened her piece into a more general plea for people to show empathy for one another after a year of a global pandemic, civil unrest over the police killings of Breonna Taylor and George Floyd, and the deep national divisions over facts, science and “whether an election has been won or lost.”

“Sitting in a hospital bed, watching my husband’s heart break as he tried to hold the shattered pieces of mine, I realized that the only way to begin to heal is to first ask, ‘Are you OK?’”

As Meghan pointed out, it’s an important question to ask, and she has received praise for calling for empathy “at a time when everyone has suffered losses of various sorts,” as one person commenting on the piece wrote.

Reactions to Meghan’s essay, however, are deeply divided, as she probably knew they would be given the past year’s events and the person she has become in the public imagination.

In just the past year alone, she and Harry shocked the world by stepping down as royals, moving to the United States, signing a multi-million-dollar deal to become Netflix film and TV producers, perhaps cooperating in a best-selling book that dished dirt on the royal family, buying a mansion in Montecito, preparing to launch a private foundation and generally setting the stage to use their fame to become rich and influential voices on the world stage.

Those critical of the piece are questioning Meghan’s motives in revealing something so deeply personal about herself. They see her as calculating and ask: Why now, and what’s her angle?

These questions tend to focus on the fact that she and Harry said they wanted to escape the fishbowl of royal life in order to protect their privacy and to gain control over their media coverage. Meghan also is in the midst of a grueling court case in the U.K. over her claims that the Daily Mail violated her privacy by publishing portions of a letter she wrote her father.

“Not all grief needs to be made public knowledge!!,” wrote one user. “I thought they wanted privacy, yet here they are inviting the world into what should be a private matter. Many mums lose, they dont invite the media in to announce.” Other similar comments followed.

It’s difficult to see how emblazoning a deeply personal tragedy is in line with their claims to need privacy. Is there nothing that cannot be exploited to keep them in the spotlight under the thinnest veneer of saccharine support for others who have lost a baby?

— M Widdas (@m_widdas) November 25, 2020

Someone else wrote: “This article sounds like a movie script. I am sorry for her loss, but this seems like a grab for attention yet again! I’m quite sure she also got some money for releasing her tragedy! I can not understand how a woman in her position can act like that, it’s a shame!”

“Extremely sad but, from the eloquent prose rather than a simple announcement, I sense a new foundation, a new cause, a new opportunity to get back in the limelight opening up,” said another.

Yet another person pointed out the difference in reactions to Chrissy Teigen’s announcement that she had lost her son late in her pregnancy, and to Meghan opening up. To this user, Teigen has built a persona in which she always comes across “authentic,” whereas Meghan’s critics tend to see her as opportunistic and even dishonest.

All PR …she’s told so many lies already it’s hard to believe anything her PR machine spits out.
People felt for Chrissy T because she’s genuine, but meg thear? Not so much

— Auriga S (@s_auriga) November 25, 2020

On the question of privacy, some defended Meghan by saying that she and Harry didn’t want to fully retreat from public life. Instead, these defenders said the royal couple wanted to understandably exercise control over how their private information becomes public.

“To people saying: ‘why is Meghan Markle sharing her story if she doesn’t want negative media attention?’” one user wrote. “It is very simple: there is a difference between sharing your own pain, and having others cause it. You have a right to your own truth. And a right to tell it.”

Still others defended Meghan for writing the op-ed while knowing that people would still find a way to criticize her:

“I think it’s extra brave because it was done knowing some people would say horrible things,” the person wrote. “I think those costs were weighed against the benefit of bringing more awareness to an issue that needs it.”

Travel writer Monisha Rajesh added:

That Meghan Markle could write about her miscarriage knowing that it would add fuel to the fire of the demons who want her demise, makes her even more of a queen.

— Monisha Rajesh (@monisha_rajesh) November 25, 2020

Others voiced general admiration for Meghan trying to help others as she recovers from her personal loss.

I love her! I know how hard it is to suffer from miscarriages and it’s no easy task. I commend anyone who openly speaks their truth. This is a wonderful & beautiful family. People should learn some human decency. What happened to everyone’s humanity/compassion.

— Goddess Of The Sky ???? (@EccentricBaeTG) November 25, 2020

From the U.K., Labour MP Catherine McKinnell added:

This is unfortunately so common yet so little talked about. Brave to speak out. So important that we break the often painful silence around miscarriage #MeghanMarkle https://t.co/dGYKOnkksh

— Catherine McKinnell (@CatMcKinnell) November 25, 2020